Telling jokes is an art, as any genuine comic will tell you. It may be challenging to put together a quip that is humorous and engaging with the right balance of setup, build, and punchline. Fortunately, there’s less pressure to find the greatest dumb jokes.
You don’t need a whole framework when it comes to corny jokes to make your audience laugh—especially if they’re your friends and family. Alternatively, commit a handful of this list’s dad jokes and clever puns to memory. They’ll make everyone in hearing giggle or burst into a loud belly laugh. For children, adolescents, teenagers, and adults alike, these jokes are ideal.
Do you need more jokes? Try trying some jokes that are tailored to the occasion as well, such as jokes about Thanksgiving, Halloween, Christmas, Easter, and Valentine’s Day.
Top 100 Funny jokes to tell your friends over text
- What did the horse say after it tripped?
Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!
2. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent.
3. What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
4. What do you call an angry carrot?
A steamed veggie.
5. Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snowbank.
6. How do you make an egg-roll?
You push it!
7. What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
8. What do you call a pile of cats?
A meow-ntain.
9. Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
10. Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two tired.
11. What did the triangle say to the circle?
You’re pointless.
12. RIP, boiling water.
You will be mist.
13. Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.
14. I ordered a chicken and an egg online.
I’ll let you know what comes first.
15. Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer?
She kept running away from the ball!
16. What do lawyers wear to court?
Lawsuits.
17. What do elves learn in school?
The elf-abet.
18. Where was King David’s temple located?
Beside his ear.
19. What did one toilet say to another?
You look flushed.
20. What lights up a soccer stadium?
A soccer match.
21. What does corn say when it gets a compliment?
Aw, shucks!
22. What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire.
23. What’s red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
24. What do sprinters eat before they race?
Nothing. They fast.
25. What has more lives than a cat?
A frog, because it croaks every day.
26. Why was the fish’s grades bad?
They were below sea level.
27. What’s Forrest Gump’s password?
1forrest1.
28. What do you call a fish without an eye?
Fsh.
29. Why shouldn’t you use a broken pencil?
Because it’s pointless.
30. What do you call a pig that practices karate?
A pork chop.
31. What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
32. What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race?
Ketchup.
33. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pen?
Because it’s pointless.
34. Why can’t you trust the king of the jungle?
Because he’s always lion.
35. What did one wall say to the other?
“I’ll meet you at the corner.”
36. What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
37. What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blue berry!
38. Why are pirates called pirates?
They just ARRRR!
39. How do you organize a space party?
You planet.
40. Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.
41. What do cows read the most?
Cattle-logs.
42. I lost an electron.
You really have to keep an ion them!
43. What do clouds wear under their shorts?
Thunder pants!
44. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten-tickles.
45. What did 0 say to 8?
“Nice belt.”
46. How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.
47. What did the drummer name her twin daughters?
Anna 1, Anna 2.
48. What did the lettuce say to the celery?
Quit stalking me!
49. What’s small and red and has a rough voice?
A hoarse raddish!
50. Why do mushrooms get invited to all the parties?
